I've written my version of the story for you to refer to. The underlined phrases/sentence will be helpful for other stories as well. Notice that I choose to write more of the characters' actions and expressions to show their feelings, rather than simply telling how they feel.
E.g. Compare these paired sentences:
1a) Tom was worried.
1b) Tom's face turned pale.
2a) She was angry.
2b) Her face was red with fury.
3a) She scolded the boys.
3b) She yelled, her finger jabbing the air as she spoke.
4a) The boys felt bad.
4b) The boys hung their heads in shame.
5a) The vase broke.
5b) The vase shattered into many tiny pieces.
Hope you can try to write in more detail when you rewrite your composition!
***
A Regretful Incident
In the middle of their game, Tom got too excited and gave the ball a hard kick. The ball flew high into the air and it bounced onto the table.
Crash! The vase on the table shattered into many tiny pieces. "Oh no!" Tom gasped in horror. It was their mother's favourite vase! The two brothers got very worried. "What should we do?" They looked at each other helplessly.
Suddenly, the door creaked open. Mother was home! The moment she stepped into the room and saw the mess on the floor, she glared sternly at the boys. Her face was red with fury.
"Who did this?" she yelled, her finger jabbing the air as she spoke. The boys hung their heads in shame. They hurriedly picked up the flowers and swept up the broken vase pieces with a broom. Mother took away their ball and locked it up in the store room.
The brothers regretted their actions deeply. The next day, they used their savings to buy a new vase to replace the broken one. They also bought a bouquet of fresh flowers and a card. They apologised to their mother and promised to be careful the next time. Mother was pleased and forgave them.
***
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